WE HAVE TO BE CAREFULLY TAUGHT
We learn lessons throughout our lives but none more enduring than those learnt in childhood.
It’s said that the strongest motivation that living organisms experience is the urge for self-preservation and this is evident in even a one cell organism. Pain and fear are the two things which immediately kick-start this will-to-live into action. Pain being evidence that all is “not well Batman” indicates that in order to survive the pain must go. Fear needs no physical pain but often depends on a related or personal memory of pain and the knowledge that it must be avoided.
Children are not always as cognizant of all the dangers that
could impede there self-preservation so fear must be related to them. For a long period of time parents become the
self-preserving agent in a child’s life; A mother cautions a child that the
stove is hot and any contact between it and the child will result in pain!
My father was more of a physical hands-on type
of person so had a different method of fulfilling his duties, let me explain:
As I’ve mentioned before (perhaps too frequently) we lived
in a rough and tough neighbourhood where fist fights were an accepted method of
settling differences and where Darwin could have studied all he needed to know
about survival of the fittest without
going to the Galapagos Islands!
I can’t honestly say I met a lot of bullies in my childhood,
but, at about the age of ten years, or maybe even less, I did meet one and that
was enough. He punched me in the face and
as a consequence I had a nasty- painful-fat lip. I can’t remember the motive for this
interaction but I can remember my father’s response.
Dad was a great admirer of the boxer James John Corbett known as “Gentleman
Jim”.
(Here’s a Wikipedia link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_J._Corbett if you want to take a short dive into boxing history.) And, although Dad never, as far as I know, took part in the sport himself, he did love to listen to radio broadcasts of matches and I’m sure secretly considered himself a “boxing expert”. With this in mind he set about providing me with the self-preservation skills I needed for the area we lived in. He taught me how to box!
(Here’s a Wikipedia link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_J._Corbett if you want to take a short dive into boxing history.) And, although Dad never, as far as I know, took part in the sport himself, he did love to listen to radio broadcasts of matches and I’m sure secretly considered himself a “boxing expert”. With this in mind he set about providing me with the self-preservation skills I needed for the area we lived in. He taught me how to box!
No wild silly slugging for me. No, no. I was taught the
proper stance for the feet, methods for protecting my face, and where to aim my
punches for the most damage to the opponent.
He was very pleased to discover that I was a “Sourf Paw”, apparently to be so is confusing for one’s opponent.
He also
told me that if I sensed an altercation about to erupt then I should be the
first to deliver my deadly South Paw blows, offense being the better part of
defense.
I never did get the opportunity to exhibit these undoubtedly
superior boxing skills because from then on, the tormenting boy never even came
close to me.
Unbeknownst to me, my father also had another parental method
of securing my self-preservation; albeit somewhat unorthodox it was quite
acceptable in the area we lived in.
The family story suggests that he set his
alarm to wake himself up at some ungodly hour in the morning, long before the
sun had risen. Whereupon he marched down the street to the bullying child’s
house and pounded on the door. The boy’s
father still groggy from sleep opened the door to be met with a well placed fist
at the end of my father’s arm. “That’s a reminder to stop yer boy from
‘itting my girl!”.
This method though crude, assured my self-preservation for
the time being! But, let this be a warning: despite never having had to use these skills, this rather ancient grandmother stills remembers what I was so carefully taught and I know that a swift offense is the best defense!
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